Open Your Blinds!

I keep my blinds closed most of the time.  I am one of "those" people.  It drives my mom nuts when she comes to visit me. She can't stand how I live in the the dark. I am a private person and don't want anyone to "see" inside, so I keep my blinds closed.  The sad thing is that I am missing the amazing beauty on the other side of those blinds.

I also keep the blinds to my heart closed.  Little by little, I have been twisting them open and I've started to see the beauty on the other side.

I can't pinpoint exactly why I've been so closed off.  I assume it started when I was a young girl.  I had a working mom and a very busy dad.  I spent a lot of time alone and didn't have a closeness with my parents or younger brother.  I was also overweight and was bullied at school and in my neighborhood.  I changed schools several times too.  I went to three elementary schools, 2 junior highs and  3 high schools!  It was very hard for me to find a group to join and belong to.  When I went to college, I had intentions to join campus Bible studies and service organizations.  Unfortunately, I sabotaged myself and sought out relationships that kept me closed off from everyone else.  I missed out on discipleship and godly girlfriends.  That is one of my biggest regrets in life.

As a young adult in my 20s, I volunteered as a Younglife leader, but I was so afraid of opening up to those teenage girls, that I failed to mentor them. As a military spouse, I have shied away from social situations because I represent my husband and I am so scared that I'll say or do something wrong.  I have been afraid of taking leadership positions within the military spouse community. I have walked away from potential friendships, women's fellowships and ministry opportunities because I was afraid of what others would think of me.  I let the enemy tell me that my blinds needed to remain closed.  I had nothing to offer and  I was going to embarrass myself.  Satan wants me to imprison my heart so I can't be used by God.  It's his only weapon--to lie to me and make me believe that I am not worth knowing.

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7


I am now 37 years old with a whole lot of life ahead of me and experience behind me.  I don't want to waste another day hiding behind the blinds, peering out the slats to see what I am missing.  I am not going to live in the dark anymore.  I have things to offer and friendships to nurture. I learned this recently when I went to a conference by myself.  Other women reached out to me and I found new friends.  I could have easily sat by myself and gone to my room to eat by myself, but I said yes and it was wonderful!  I want to be able to reach out to others like that.   I am scared, but how can I remain that way when I know God has a beautiful life for me on the other side of the blinds?  Sure, it may sometimes be cloudy or stormy, but He will protect me.  I will trust Him to lead me out of hiding.  I will be obedient and let Him use me.

"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.  Matthew 5:16 NASB

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life." John 8:12

"for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light" Ephesians 5:8

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

The view out my window--Pike's Peak

Hello Mornings Goals

This is my first Hello Mornings Challenge.  I am NOT a morning person.  Am I usually up by 6? Yes, but not  by my choice and I'm certainly not awake or in a happy mood.  I am usually up because my dog needs to go out and be fed and then Buddy usually comes shuffling in looking for breakfast.  Buddy gets 30 minutes of PBS while I try to wake up.  I usually sit in a fog with my coffee while mindlessly watching the news.

My goals for this challenge:

1.  Spend time with the Lord before anyone else gets up.
2.  Be in a joyful mood.
3.  Try to get in at least 15 minutes on the treadmill.
4.  Don't get sucked into Fox and Friends for an hour!(unless I'm on the treadmill)
5.  Make sure all schoolwork for the day is organized and ready for the kids.

Patience

When I was in college, I had a little page a day quote calendar.  One of my favorites was, "With patience and a cow, grass becomes milk."  I have struggled with being impatient.  I want things to work out NOW.  God has taught me patience through the years.  He sure knew what I needed to work on!  I have had to be patient through chronic illness, infertility, waiting for my husband during his 3 tours to Iraq, waiting for our adopted son to come home to us from Guatemala, feeling friendless, countless moves, difficult family members...the list goes on.  It is a daily struggle for me, but I feel that I've been conditioned by my life experiences to slow down and wait.  Waiting on the Lord is always the right answer.  Ask him for peace.  Know  that He will provide--In His Time.  It is a hard lesson to learn, but He is ALWAYS right and right on time.  If you call on Him, He will answer.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD

Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 15:4-5 For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus.

Reading Goals for 2013

Spiritual Growth
Book of Luke (Good Morning Girls study)
Forgotten God by Francis Chan
Sons and Daughters by Brady Boyd (my awesome pastor)
Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson

Parenting/Discipling
Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce A. Ware
Disciple Like Jesus for Parents by Alan Melton and Paul Dean
various Autism related books(any recommendations?)

Homeschooling
Educating the Wholehearted Child by Clay Clarkson (this is a yearly read!)

Homemaking
The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer
A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

Fiction
Bailey Flanigan Series by Karen Kingsbury
Troubled Waters by Rene Gutteredge

Autobiography/Missions
Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis
Peace Child by Don Richardson

What was the last thing God asked you to do?

Yesterday, our pastor spoke about Nehemiah.  If you don't know the story of Nehemiah, he was an ordinary man that did an extraordinary thing.  He heard that the wall in Jerusalem had been destroyed and it tore him up.  He called out to God and decided that he wanted to rebuild it.  God provided for him to be able to accomplish this amazing plan.  Nehemiah faced constant ridicule, doubt and opposition for what he was doing, but he kept going with God's help and was able to do work that would have taken professionals several years to do and it took him and his helpers only 52 days!  Nehemiah kept the goal in his sights and was not distracted.  Not only did he rebuild a physical wall, but he also met the physical needs of the people there.  Pastor Brady(New Life) related this to being in God's will.  How do you know what God's will for you is?  He posed this question, "You can know what God wants you to do by asking yourself, "what was the last thing God asked me to do and did I finish it?"  Don't keep asking and looking around for something new if you haven't finished the last thing."

I knew right away what it was for me.  I have been called to be a biblical wife and mother.  My will, RIGHT NOW, is to follow God's calling for me to finish this job.  I often feel like I am underappreciated, tired, not doing a good job,etc.  I am constantly distracted from the job God has called me to do.  I am going to try to keep my vision and follow through, like Nehemiah.  I need to avoid my distractions and call out to God just as he did and I will eventually finish building my "wall of Jerusalem".  I can also apply this to the homeschooling of my children.  It is still not the "popular" choice in our culture.  I may even be ridiculed or opposed by people in my life. I fight my own doubts.  I have to keep the focus and know that the end result is for God's glory.  He has a plan for our family and I am not going to let myself or others get in the way of that.  I will work joyfully for my family and for God.  Like Nehemiah, finding out that the wall was torn down, I am sad to think of what would happen to my family if I didn't do everything I could, with God's help, to keep my family from being torn down. Inspiring!  I am going to print out a picture of the wall to remind me of my calling and that God will equip me to do what He has called me to do.  Be blessed, go read Nehemiah--it's pretty short! Little book, big message.
Wall of Jerusalem
One of my favorite verses,  " They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.” "
But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.”  Nehemiah 6:9